When It’s Bye-Bye Social Media

Social media and I have been an item since a smidge prior to 1999. Talk about your long-term relationship. That lasted longer than both marriages combined. Sadly. (No doubt true for many people by now and a sorry social commentary in and of itself!)

After twenty-six long years of a fairly unhealthy relationship, I called it quits and cancelled the only account I still had left on Facebook.

They don’t make it easy for the faint-of-heart. I tried to quit before and got lured back in. If you can’t wait out their 30-day probationary period and log back in, in a moment of weakness, you have to begin the deletion process (and 30 days) all over again.

That amount of years is fraught with its own ups and downs - not excluding multiple accounts under different names and for various reasons (divorces and other abandonments in my case). There are two stragling accounts out there, but I don’t use them and never did use those much. My primary account is now gone, Instagram was deleted years ago, along with MySpace, Twitter/X, Truth, and Gettr (not to tip my political cards too far, but I did give them a shot anyway). I dabbled in Tumblr and YouTube but can only be found stalking YouTube comments now.

The world has not gone quiet in my online absence…

The Other Side of Bye-Bye

The losses have been minimal. The gains have been interesting.

First, one notices how frequently they go to reach for that hand - that device - that eye-comfort that used to be there. I would reach for my phone, check the time, check the weather, check my email (empty) and put it back down…

What did people do with all of their time before social media? Since my power went out for a day during a recent snow storm, I have a better idea of what they used to do; nonetheless, the absence of a 24/7 feed of opinions, highlights, memes, and drama is noticeable.

Second, one may realize they can and should replace that time spent falling down black holes of bait with something more constructive (and hopeful).

I sat down and made a much needed 5-year plan. I realized I did have time to cook - amazingly. I realized I did have time to exercise. I realized how much time was wasted. I had time to think! And that may have been the biggest gain of all, leading to the rest.

Third, as time went on, I realized how much of what is online is like traveling through an alternate universe: a virtual reality, but not the real one happening around me in the flesh.

Believe it or not, no one has attacked me over anything, felt the need to correct my beliefs when they are shared, nor asked for my opinion (unless work related). No one has shot a gun at me on the hwy, a pit bull has not attacked me, I see so few trans people that I hardly understand what the fuss is about, I still got my tax refund, gas is still under $3, and my debit card and cash still work - so far.

In other words, the sky is not falling. At least not today. But to live on social media is certainly to believe or feel that it is - right now - and at any moment!

Social media is anxiety embodied.

Social media is hate embodied.

Social media is the urgent constantly smacking down the important embodied.

Social media is temptation in bits and pixels.

Social media is comparison and envy embodied.

Social media is gossip glorified.

Social media is pride ever running naked before the next fall…

Social media is just a tool! - Some shiny-shoed pastor will retort.

Uh-huh. Sure.

And I am reminded of Gandolf’s words to Frodo Baggins after Frodo offers him the one ring of power:

Don't tempt me Frodo. Understand that I would use this Ring from a desire to do good. But through me... it would wield a power too great and terrible to imagine.

1 John 2:16:

For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world.

What is social media if not the embodiment of all those things?

When I am lonely, when I feel I have something to say, when I desire to share what seems right with my world today, I am still tempted to resume that old relationship…

Some will say there must be a healthy way to engage social media. Perhaps. But I would counter - are any of those things above healthy? Is your heart above being deceitful? Do you think you are the one to wield the one ring of power - a name, a face, a word to the whole world - responsibly?

It is then I say, Beware.

Even in humility, I say Beware.

And let your words be few.

Ecclesiastes 1:9:

What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun.

You must obey God rather than man (or culture). That is all I can say. But I can tell you that 26 years of social media has not done anyone in our society or culture any godly good. That’s the truth - made visible and audible in the reality of Bye-Bye Social Media and the studies and stats we conveniently ignore.