"Flee" like Dr. Jekyll and Hyde will never leave: Men in Church Clothes

So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart (2 Timothy 2:22).

I identify as an 88-year-old woman. While my face may retain some vague semblance of youth, my internal dialogue and the weight of my bones more often embrace the feelings of Bilbo Baggins at his 111th birthday: "like butter scraped over too much bread". Being nearer middle-age, I now understand the weariness and frustration that besets some of our elders when viewing the ways of the younger generations. It looks like too many excuses scraped over a whole lot of sin.

Even worse, an entire generation (likely more than one) of men utterly ruined because they will not put away their childish things, leave behind their besetting sins, but seem only to pretend to love their wives "as Christ" loved the Church. They claim fidelity in their church clothes but have privately kept Mr. Hyde's clothes handy in the back of the skeleton closet...

"Yes, I preferred the elderly and discontented doctor, surrounded by friends and cherishing honest hopes; and bade a resolute farewell to the liberty, the comparative youth, the light step, leaping pulses and secret pleasures, that I had enjoyed in the disguise of Hyde. I made this choice perhaps with some unconscious reservation, for I neither gave up the house in Soho, nor destroyed the clothes of Edward Hyde, which still lay ready in my cabinet. For two months, however, I was true to my determination..." (The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde, Robert Louis Stevenson, 2nd ed., pg 86.)

It is, no doubt, with the same "reservation" and lack of fleeing that many men - especially of my generation - have approached the issue of pornography in our day.

Church, this is to your shame. Every time you've swept it under a rug, asserted a 'grace' that excuses rather than empowers, and assaulted the faithful wife for unforgiveness rather than requiring your men to put away their youthful lusts and sins; every time you fired him and then in cowardice reinstated him in a position of ministry mere months later due to your business and entertainment needs, you too have trampled the precious blood of Christ in the name of a greedy gut that needs fed, a machine that needs oiled, an unbelief that requires fleshly scheming to survive and persist in its charade of holiness before mankind.

I can give you the anecdotal list of happenings that have led me to such conclusions, but it is hardly necessary. Anyone paying attention to Church movements and scandals since the 1980s will have more than enough evidence that what I have stated is true. If you require more proof still, there are several ways to research the topic without getting exposed to any actual pornography yourself. Studies and stats are being published increasingly on this topic, and the damage it causes to society (not just the individual who thinks he's hurting no one). Whether through collecting data from sources like the Barna Group or General Social Survey, other groups specifically taking up this interest and/or aiding in recovery for men, or taking the side-angle of more soberly considering the effects of a hyper-sexualized culture (this is all of Western culture), the grotesque but now commonplace soft porn in movies, music videos, and even commercial ads, or just living with eyes and ears wide-open at church, at work, and in society -- the evidence is more than available and the Church's sad and blatant tolerance of the issue over several decades has reached a breaking point in too many Christian women's lives.

Earrings Off, Shoes On

Let's get down on the mats and put the shoe on the other foot.

What was Jesus' expectation for the woman caught in adultery? He forgave her, yes, and then said, "Go and sin no more".

A lot of people diminish that last part, but He said that part too. And that is the standard for women caught in adultery in the Church today, isn't it? -- She can be forgiven. Most pastors would agree. But she must cease the sin.

So why is a different standard held to the men?

Oh, yes, it is.

See, in Western culture pornography has become normalized with the same "All men do it" mentality once expressed to me by a coworker about her husband. All men do it. It's not exactly socially acceptable but it is expected. A sad commentary in itself. But the Church has not helped in any way. In fact, too many of my anecdotal and personal stories involve ministers, not just lay people, caught up to their neckties in this particular vice - whether caught getting a lap dance in a strip club or in online porn for years. I dread to think how long before the trickle into CSAM (Child Sexual Abuse Material) turns into a deluge - if it hasn't already.

What happened to Jesus' influence on this topic anyway?

"And if your eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than with two eyes to be thrown into the hell of fire" (Matthew 18:9).

“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell" (Matthew 5:27-30).

Notice that even in the context of Matthew 5, Jesus is addressing the topic of lust.

There are a lot of men in church clothes claiming fidelity to their wives on a Sunday morning that are living a farce by Jesus' standard. Did His standard change? Did God change? Men, if you are in pornography and still claiming faithfulness to your wife, you're a liar. Plain and simple. And you need to confess as much.

Yes, we ALL have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God...

But the difference between a sinner and saint, a believer and an unbeliever, is that the one who has died with Christ no longer lives in his sin (no longer entertains it, continues in it). Don't believe me? Well, Paul said it first, not me:

What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? 2By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it? 3Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? 4We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life (Romans 6).

"Go and sin no more" applies just as much to the man caught in adultery (online or irl) and with a spirit of lust, as it does to the woman. There is no partiality with God.

It's beyond time, Christian men, to pick up your cross and burn Mr. Hyde's clothes --

If that means closing your social media accounts, tossing out your smart phone, trashing a whole lot of your favorite movies, and giving your wife the lock and key to your laptop, then so be it. Christ has not forbade it. In fact, he encouraged that you do whatever it takes to be rid of the things that beset, trip you up.

The writer of Hebrews gives us all a curious, even if painful, reminder of the lengths to which we must endure and persist and fight (against sin):

"In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood" (Hebrews 12:4).

'Trying' is not trying. You have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. In other words, you have not suffered as Christ in your 'struggle' against sin.

It's time to man up, boys. There remains no ignorance or excuse on this topic.

Sincerely,

Great Aunt Mildred